what makes a good memoir essay

How To Write a Memoir Essay That Readers Won't Forget

Declan Gessel

May 11, 2024

For those seeking guidance on how to write an essay on how to write an essay , the process can be daunting. It is a meticulous task that requires precision, clarity, and a keen understanding of the topic. The task is not easy, but with the right guidance, you can excel. In this guide, we will explore the necessary steps required to craft a brilliant memoir essay.

Table Of Content

What is a memoir essay, 4 key elements of a memoir essay, how to choose a topic for your memoir essay, 4 memoir essay writing tips to keep your readers engaged, jotbot highlights 3 great memoir essays, write smarter memoir essay with jotbot — start writing for free today.

A memoir essay is a piece of writing that combines elements of personal narrative and essay writing. The term itself is derived from the French word mémoire, meaning memory or reminiscence. A memoir essay tells a true story that happened to the author. It allows the author to explore and share memories from their past, reflecting on the significance of those experiences as they relate to them now.

Limited Scope

Unlike an autobiography , a memoir essay focuses on a specific period of the author's life, a particular event, or a significant relationship. This limited scope helps to keep the narrative more centralized, allowing the author to deeply explore the emotions and consequences of those experiences within the context of the overall theme.

Essay Structure

A memoir essay uses an essay structure to introduce a central theme, develop the story, and offer reflections or insights. This structure can help the author to organize their thoughts and present their story in a way that is engaging and easy to follow. It also allows the author to weave in other elements, such as research or commentary, that can help to enrich the narrative.

Emotional Depth

A memoir delves into the author's feelings and thoughts related to the experience. By exploring the emotional depth of their memories, the author can create a more evocative and powerful narrative that resonates with readers on a personal level. This emotional depth can draw readers in and make them feel more connected to the author's story.

Universal Connection

While personal, a memoir essay aims to connect with readers by exploring broader human themes. By sharing their experiences and insights, the author can help readers to see themselves in the story, finding common ground and shared emotions that make the narrative more meaningful and impactful.

This universal connection is one of the key strengths of a memoir essay, allowing the author to reach a wider audience and create a more lasting impact with their writing.

Difference between Memoir and Autobiography

A memoir is closely related to the nonfiction format known as autobiography, but the two forms are not identical. Most notably, an autobiography is a first-person account of its author’s entire life. Autobiographies are usually written by famous individuals, such as politicians, celebrities, or business leaders.

In contrast, a memoir is a nonfiction work that is based on the author’s personal memories, feelings, and experiences. Memoirs are often focused on a specific time period, theme, or relationship in the author’s life. Autobiographies are longer than memoirs and cover a broader scope of the author’s life. Although memoirs and autobiographies are different, both of these genres are entertaining and informative.

1. The Use of Vivid Description

When writing a memoir essay, it is crucial to go beyond just recounting events. The use of vivid description can transport readers into the heart of your story, making it a truly immersive experience. By incorporating sensory details, figurative language, and evocative imagery, you can bring your memories to life and create a lasting impact on your readers.

2. Bring Characters to Life with Dialogue

Dialogue is a powerful tool in memoir writing, allowing you to breathe life into your characters and drive the narrative forward. By capturing the nuances of speech, revealing hidden emotions, and using dialogue to move the plot forward, you can create dynamic and engaging interactions that resonate with your readers.

3. How to Use Reflection in Your Memoir Essay

Reflection adds depth and meaning to your memoir essay, allowing you to explore the significance of your experiences and connect them to broader themes. By analyzing the "why" behind the event, connecting it to universal themes, and using introspection to express your vulnerabilities, you can infuse your memoir with emotional resonance and personal insight.

4. Showcasing the Journey of Growth

A compelling memoir essay showcases your personal growth and transformation, illustrating how specific experiences or relationships have shaped you over time. By illustrating your growth through actions and choices, using contrasting scenes to highlight your evolution, and ending on a note of personal growth, you can create a powerful narrative arc that resonates with your readers.

notepad and a laptopn on a table - Memoir Essay

Reflecting on pivotal moments and turning points in your life is essential when choosing a topic for your memoir essay. These moments could be triumphs, losses, love, or transformations that profoundly impacted you. Consider experiences that have shaped your identity, values, or worldview and stand out vividly in your memory.

Emotional Impact

Emotional resonance is key to engaging readers in your memoir essay. Reflect on moments that made you laugh, cry, or feel deeply. These emotional moments provide a window into your soul and allow readers to connect with your story on a personal level.

Personal Growth and Lessons Learned

Exploring personal growth arcs in your life is another vital aspect to consider when choosing a memoir essay topic. Reflect on how you have evolved as a person and the lessons that life has taught you through challenges, mistakes, or unexpected twists. Sharing your insights can inspire and resonate with readers who may be going through similar experiences.

Universal Appeal

While your memoir essay is deeply personal, aiming for themes that resonate universally can make your story more relatable to a wider audience. Consider themes such as love and relationships, identity and self-discovery, resilience and overcoming adversity, journeys and travel, loss and grief, as well as career and passion pursuits. These themes can help your memoir essay connect with readers on a profound level.

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1. Identifying Your Narrative Core

When you're writing a memoir essay that truly captures readers' attention, it's crucial to identify the core of your narrative. This means delving into your life experiences to uncover the moments that truly define you. Here are some brainstorming strategies you can use to uncover your narrative core:

Thematic Exploration

Take a journey through the themes of your life, such as loss, friendship, or overcoming adversity. Identify specific moments that epitomize these themes and consider how they've shaped you.

Sensory Prompts

Recall vivid experiences by engaging your senses. Think about a specific smell, taste, or childhood object that brings back powerful memories. These sensory details will help you bring your story to life.

Turning Points

Reflect on pivotal moments that have significantly changed your life or your perspective. These moments often hold the key to understanding who you are and why you've become that way.

2. The Criteria for Choosing a Captivating Topic

Your memoir essay should be about more than just any story from your life. To truly captivate readers, you need to choose a topic that meets certain criteria. Here are some things to consider when selecting your story:

Choose an experience that evokes strong emotions in you. If you feel deeply about the story you're telling, your readers are more likely to as well.

Universality

Can readers connect with the story you're telling on a broader level? Look for experiences that resonate with the human experience and the emotions we all share.

Personal Significance

The best memoir essays tell stories that have had a lasting impact on the author. Consider the experiences that have shaped you, challenged you, or changed your life in meaningful ways.

3. How To Build a Memorable Narrative Persona

A key to writing a memoir essay that readers won't forget is to create a strong narrative persona. This persona is the voice through which your story is told, and it should be unique, engaging, and authentic. Here's how you can develop your narrative persona:

Identifying Your Voice

Take some time to analyze your natural writing style. Are you humorous, reflective, or descriptive? Understanding your personal tendencies will help you craft a narrative persona that feels true to you.

Building Your Narrative Voice

Consider the literary influences that have shaped your writing style. What authors or genres resonate with you? You can draw on these influences as you develop your narrative voice.

4. Crafting a Memorable Ending

Every great memoir essay needs a memorable ending. This is the final chance to leave a lasting impression on your reader, so make it count. Here are some strategies for crafting a memorable ending to your memoir essay:

Circle Back to the Introduction

Offer a sense of closure by connecting back to the beginning of your essay. This can create a sense of symmetry and completion that leaves your reader satisfied.

Reveal a Transformation

Show how the experience you've shared has shaped you into the person you are now. This transformation is often at the heart of a memoir essay and can make for a powerful ending.

A Lingering Thought

End your essay with a question or a thought-provoking reflection that will stay with your readers long after they've finished reading. This can prompt further contemplation and leave a lasting impact.

1. Eat, Pray, and Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

(https://www.mwediting.com/memoir-topics-with-examples/)

2. The Book “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed Essay

(https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-book-wild-by-cheryl-strayed/)

3. Wild: a journey from lost to found by Strayed

(https://archive.org/details/wildjourneyfroml0000stra)

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person working on a laptop - Memoir Essay

When writing a memoir essay, it is crucial to embrace vulnerability. Readers are drawn to stories that reveal the writer's true self and expose their raw emotions. By sharing personal tales and experiences with readers, writers can form deeper connections. It can be terrifying to share personal stories, but vulnerability is what makes memoirs compelling. Readers relate to vulnerability, and it encourages them to open up about their experiences.

Embracing vulnerability in your memoir essay allows readers to connect with your story on an intimate level. When readers recognize themselves in your narrative, they are more likely to engage with your work on a deeper level. Vulnerability taps into emotions that are universal, enabling your readers to see themselves in your story. When writers embrace vulnerability, they create an emotional bond with their readers.

Overcoming Writer’s Block

Writer's block is a common challenge faced by memoir writers. It can be frustrating when you want to write but cannot find the words. When writer's block strikes, I use Jotbot to generate an outline for my memoir essay. Jotbot helps me organize my thoughts and ideas, which enables me to write more cohesively. With Jotbot, I can focus on specific sections of my memoir essay, allowing me to overcome writer's block.

Jotbot's AI essay writer helps me with sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation. When I struggle with a sentence, I use Jotbot to revise it. Jotbot helps me to write complete sentences and improve my grammar. I love how Jotbot helps me improve my writing skills. Writing my memoir essay with Jotbot allows me to concentrate on my writing and not worry about sentence structure or grammar.

Creating a Memorable Memoir Opening

When writing a memoir essay, the opening should grab the reader’s attention. A strong opening sets the stage for the rest of the essay. I like to begin my memoir essays with an anecdote or a compelling quote to draw readers in. By starting with a vivid image or a powerful statement, I can spark readers’ curiosity and make them eager to read more.

Jotbot assists me in creating an opening for my memoir essay that hooks readers from the beginning. Jotbot helps me to generate a catchy introduction that sets the tone for the rest of the essay. With Jotbot , I can create a memorable opening that captivates readers and compels them to continue reading. Jotbot allows me to focus on crafting an engaging narrative instead of struggling to find the right words for the introduction.

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Five essential ingredients in every good memoir

If you’re starting your memoir right now and confronted with a mass of possibilities for what to include (and write), understanding the five essential ingredients to every page-turning memoir is going to help you outline your memoir and validate the story idea at the same time. And if you’re at the point in drafting where you’re revising your manuscript (perhaps you have 200 000 + words you need to cut by over half!), this list is going to help you prioritise what to cut and keep.

With any big creative project (and, let’s face it, a memoir manuscript is a big project!), knowing how to simplify and which order to do this is going to save you time and agony.

I’ve shared before that I wrote the first draft for A Letter From Paris in three months. The reason I was able to write the draft of such a complex story relatively quickly, is because i studied comparative titles in the memoir and biography / history genre like they were roadmaps and essentially created a system so that I wasn’t writing a heap of draft material I would need to throw away. Yes, the material changed enormously from first to final draft (and i can’t even define the number of drafts, because there was a lot of revision!) but this system that i used for the structure gave me freedom to know I was on the right track with that initial agony draft. The first draft truly is the hardest! Creating something big (like a book) is all about prioritising where you focus your attention. If you know what the five structural components to a compelling narrative include, you know what to write, and in what order, and you know if you’re on the right track!

I like to think of these essential ingredients as the staples a hiker needs to learn to pack to survive in the bush. Water, torch, lighter, raincoat, swiss army knife, iodine drops (*NB I’m not a professional hiker so this could be wrong!). Whether your trek is in Kathmandu or the Andes or the Scottish highlands or Wilson’s Promontory, these staples will help you no matter the terrain.

It’s the same with the five essential ingredients for a good story! Whether you’re writing about a lost love affair or a year spent visiting shamans in the Amazon, these key ingredients will validate the story idea and ensure your memoir ‘works’.

Just like essential ingredients for making a cake (eggs, flour, milk, butter, sugar), dropping or even altering one key item is going to grossly affect the taste and rise of the cake. So be sure you include each ingredient I’m about to share – don’t skip one, or the whole recipe may not work!

Ingredient Number 1: Universal Themes

Fellow memoir author Patti Hall once wrote:

“The reason people read memoir is because they relate your story, not because they are called by the uniqueness of it.”

If you’ve ever wondered why memoir is such a widely-read genre, and bestselling books by otherwise ‘non’ famous ordinary people end up on the bestseller lists (think EDUCATED by Tara Westover, MAID by Stephanie Land, WILD by Cheryl Strayed, etc etc) it’s indeed because we can relate to the universal human elements to their story.

Identify your universal theme(s) when you’re beginning the draft or better yet, outlining your memoir, so you can be sure to focus on that theme and not go off track writing about every element of your life. It’s also going to validate that you do, in fact, have a relatable story that will be enjoyed by millions of strangers, not just your family and friends who already know you. Go back to clarifying your universal themes at the revision stage so you can find comparative titles, get ready for the promotional aspect of book publishing, and so you can see what the ‘takeaway’ is for the reader. The universal themes are what will ensure your personal story is read by as wide an audience as possible. In short? Compelling and relatable universal theme = bestselling memoir material.

Ingredient Number 2: Your Holy Hook

Your holy hook is the opening to your story – it’s the ‘hinge’ on which the door to your story hangs, so-to-speak. Without a strong ‘hook’ – that eternal question that’s always in the reader’s mind (“why should i keep reading?”) will never be answered!

In my experience – both writing my own books, editing others’ manuscripts and coaching authors on the memoir query and the proposal, the hook is the most misunderstood element of story structure. people misunderstand what a hook is, and don’t spend enough time clarifying it. Without a ‘hook’ there is no reason for your story to exist when there are plenty of others on the same topics and themes. Your hook will be personal, it will be unusual, and, unfortunately with memoir, it’s often a bit of a blind spot for the writer because it’s a wound you’ve blanked out for your very survival.

Your hook will sell your story and compel the reader to keep reading. Without it? It’s vague and general and I will read a story on the same topic or experience from someone else. See my QUERY class for more on the hook and why it matters so much to knowing how to sell your story.

By the way, EVERY story has a hook! Even when you cannot see it. If you are compelled to write this story, there’s a reason. It’s generally to be found in this hook, which is completely unique to you.

When you’re revising your memoir or getting ready for publication or even pitching it to agents and editors, the hook will be front and centre of every query you send. You might even pitch some essays and articles based on your memoir hook. Hooks are memorable (another reason viral essays often lead to book deals!). To see some examples of strong hooks that sold memoirs from an essay or article, read this post on essays that led to book deals.

Ingredient Number 3: A structural ‘container’ for your story

Without proper story structure, there’s no way to pace or outline a book-length work . It also makes it so much harder (nigh impossible) to write a manuscript if you have no structure. What goes into the beginning? What goes into the middle? How do you ensure a strong and memorable finish? If you write an entire manuscript without even the simplest outline to the structure, you will go wildly off-track and won’t know what to cut or keep. There’s a reason scriptwriters, bestselling authors, even top ad executives use the Hero’s Journey and the 3 Act Structure for everything from a car advertisement to a speech or a launch or a marketing pitch to a Hollywood film.

I personally love the 3 Act Story Structure and I use this in conjunction with the Hero’s Journey to teach the narrative framework to develop your story inside The Art of Memoir . When i was studying different memoirs and creating my own map to write A Letter From Paris first draft in three months, I analysed the structure of my chosen comparative titles and they ALL used the 3 Act Story Structure. To create my own roadmap for writing that draft so quickly, I created a unique method which uses the hero’s journey in combination with the 3 act story structure AND these 5 components that sell memoir. You can learn more in The Art of Memoir free class.

This writing blueprint essentially allowed me to make a loose plan of what needed to be included when and where, so that when i sat down to write the manuscript I always had a place to ‘go’. I wasn’t just spewing out every single thing that happened in my life and most importantly, it helped me not to write an entire draft of backstory, which is what most authors of personal narrative struggle to avoid!

Story Structure

This unique structure I teach inside The Art of Memoir will help most of all when you get to the revision stage. By ensuring you’ve ticked the boxes to the basics of each Act, as well as identifying the symbolism in each stage of the hero’s journey in your memoir, you will be streets ahead of a manuscript that’s simply a mass of memories, with no clear structure. It’s almost like the difference between a house with no walls or doors inside – there’s no way for the reader to understand where to go and what they are supposed to ‘feel’ in each part of the house. I hope that makes sense.

Another reason the Hero’s Journey works so well for memoir is because the stages mimic the steps of human growth and awareness. By writing the draft and loosely considering each stage as you work through your OWN experiences and story, you gain a much richer understanding of your own personal evolution. It’s fantastically empowering!

Ingredient Number 4: Two conflicting desires

Without conflict, there is no story. Period. Whether your story is happy or sad, this conflict needs to be exposed and explored, but most writers only identify the superficial conflict in their story. The thing with memoir is that it’s intensely personal and (unless your memoir is about a physical escape from danger) the conflict is mostly internal. So this creates a unique problem when it comes to writing a compelling story and keeping the reader invested in turning the pages.

The only way to resolve this is to identify the two conflicting desires at the heart of your story. My first book was rejected until i identified the second desire and exposed it in a certain part of the second Act. While it may take a bit of writing (and deep-diving) to get to the deepest desire (the unconscious desire, I call it), your manuscript simply won’t work without it. You’ll attain the superficial goal of the story and then no-one will want to keep reading. Your story won’t resonate as deeply with your readers, either.

There’s always the thing you want, and the thing you really want. The reader wants to know about the one you never admitted to, until you achieved the thing you thought you wanted.

When you’re revising your manuscript, you need to ensure this second desire takes precedence at a certain place in the narrative, so the reader doesn’t throw the book away as soon as you reached the superficial goal.

Ingredient Number 5: Your basic premise

“What is your memoir about?” I’ve asked this question to so many writers during story coaching sessions, or even when they’re ready to query. I’m always surprised by how long it takes to get the answer. Because if you can’t summarise the premise of your story in a short paragraph, it’s a sign you’re not clear enough on the story yourself.

People find it really hard to simplify their book into one sentence, but it must be done. Your basic premise is the central argument or assertion that your book makes. It’s the plot, summed up in as few words as possible. It’s the question or the journey or the conflict at the heart of the story. It needs to be clear, and it needs to be short.

When you start writing your book, you need to come up with a basic premise so you can use it as a sort of ‘torch’ to guide your way through writing the manuscript. Without it, you’ll write a manuscript that is really two or three separate stories (and yes, i’ve looked at manuscripts like this, it’s painful having to tell the writer they need to drop two of the stories).

When you’re revising, keeping your basic premise front and centre of your mind means you examine every chapter, every Act and every part of your book through the lens of “does this explore or further reveal the basic premise?” and if it doesn’t, you know that you need to cut that part of the book.

In summary:

Each of these memoir ingredients works in conjunction with the others – and neglecting just one will mean that your story won’t work, like a cake that doesn’t rise when you bake it!

The good news is that if you can outline your memoir with these five essential ingredients, you have a clear path to write a story that sells. You also have a valid story idea because you’ve passed it through the 5 essential ingredients to a compelling story! When you start hiking in rough terrain writing your memoir manuscript yes, you will still be challenged and it takes work but you’ll KNOW you have the resources at your disposal to craft a compelling book!

You’ll also love: How to write your memoir outline Finding your Universal Themes

Hello, I was looking for an email address to reach out and ask about your father ‘travel’ book. Regretfully other than social media links, there was no way of communicating except in comment box! Anyway do you plan to publish that compelling travel memoir?

Have a great weekend. Cheers 😊

I have written my memior ,but my problem is its not politically correct

Thank you Louisa. A great check list as I am a few days away from submitting my completed memoir. I’m don’t have the speed in producing a memoir in a few short months but somehow a few years later I’m hoping my memoir is published. Thanks for all you do. Jo-Anne