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How to Write Realistic Horses in Fiction

Horses are legends of fiction.

Novels such as Black Beauty and movies such as Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron have graced the storytelling market for years. And horses are almost always the preferred mode of transportation when it comes to fantasy novels (except, of course, when there are dragons).

But over the years, something began to change. Horses began to take on the same roles, shoved into the same boxes.

Who hasn’t heard the trope of a girl with no horse experience suddenly befriending an “untamable horse” with no effort? The horse and rider who are seemingly perfect, charging into battle with no experience whatsoever? The failing ranch saved by the work of one kid’s talent at a horse show?  Not to mention the unrealistic horse action in many modern day movies and books.

If your audience is the “horse crazy” niche, the fastest way to lose them is to follow the tropes and cliches. This is especially true if they interact with real horses themselves, like I do through my job as a stablehand. And even in fantasy/historical novels with horses as transportation, robotic horses lose an effective element to the storybuilding world.

By breaking out of cliches and tropes, you set out the story and add a whole new level of worldbuilding.

How do you write realistic horses in fiction? It begins with the age-old rule of “show, don’t tell.”

How “Show, Don’t Tell” is Key

We are a lingual species. We use language, words, and reasoning to communicate.

Horses are almost the complete opposites.

Equines are extremely reliant on body language to communicate to each other. For prey animals, a loud animal is a dead animal, so they use silent cues, a sign language of their own kind, to talk to each other.

For writers, this is a living example of “show, don’t tell”. If someone is bothering us, we just tell them outright that they’re being annoying.

With horses, “language” is a last ditch effort. If another horse is being a pest, they’d first pin their ears and kind of glare, a warning. If the horse didn’t stop, then they’d resort to a nip or a kick. Squealing would be reserved if the horse was truly ignorant about the first few cues.

See the difference?

Writing horses communicating would be an exercise in “showing”. You can’t write horses as if you were “telling”, because they are not a “telling” species. By telling instead of showing, you lose a whole layer of realism.

Writers beware: anthropomorphic stories where the horses talk are a real trap for falling into telling habits and eliminate the essential element of showing. You still need to show, even if your horses can talk. They’re still horses and they need to act like it.

If you’re going to write realistic horses, you need to understand horse body language. While I can’t get into that here (the article would take forever!), you can check out How to Read Your Horse’s Body Language (Equus Magazine) .

Ten Unrealistic Horse Tropes

Tropes are certain elements of a story that are reused over and over– the Chosen One, the Mentor who dies, the Medieval Story world with elves and dwarves, the regular girl who falls in love with the prince… the list goes on and on.

While none of these tropes are essentially bad, they tend to become unrealistic. And horse tropes are no exception.

1. (City) Girl meets wild/abused horse and magically tames them without any work except by pure kindness.

This is the biggest offender of all horse-entertainment time, especially in the movies. Winnie the Horse Gentler , Orphan Horse , Spirit Riding Free , Spirit: Untamed , Black Beauty (2020), Free Rein … etc.

But why exactly is it so unrealistic?

For one, it takes a lot of work to tame a horse. When you gentle a wild horse, you have to override their instincts.

To a wild horse, humans = predators.

If you just jump on their back, they will think you’re a cougar trying to eat them, and will do anything– even rolling over and crushing you underneath their weight– to get you off.

No one can tame a mustang with only pure innocent kindness because technically, kindness from humans isn’t something a mustang wants. A wild horse thinks about feed, his safety from predators, where his buddies are, and a place to get out of the rain occasionally. He has to be taught that things like treats and petting are things to look forward to.

And if it’s an abused horse, it’s even harder. These are horses who are afraid of humans from past memories of pain. Horses never forget. They are like PTSD patients– sometimes a certain picture or noise can be all it takes for them to remember what happened and they flip out.

It can take years to rehab an abused horse, and that’s through professionals, not an amaetur with a day of horse experience. (Heartland is the only show I know of that gets this right. The MC, Amy, takes weeks to help Spartan, and he still has problems with memories of his abuse.)

The “city girl meets wild/abused horse and immediately bonds” trope could be fixed by instead of bonding at first sight, maybe someone older or at least wiser in horses could teach them how to work with the horse.

In Spirit: Untamed Abigail sort of does this by saying Lucky should feed Spirit an apple, but that isn’t true, because wild horses don’t eat apples in their natural habitat and you shouldn’t give treats to a horse you don’t know.

What would have been more realistic is if Pru somehow struck a deal with the horse wrangler and said that she would train Spirit for them, and then let Lucky help her. Still pretty unlikely, but something along those lines would have been better.

Or in Free Rein , when Zoe meets Raven and is able to ride him when his own rider can’t, it would have been more realistic if she actually knew something about horses and was able to identify that “hey, doing this is what’s making your horse hate you!”

2. Kid/City Person/Underdog and Horse Save the Failing Ranch Miraculously

This isn’t quite along the “realistic horse” side, but it’s worth noting because it’s been used so much.

It would have to take a lot of horse shows to save a ranch, and not just your local kiddie shows. It would have to be pro rodeo, Grand Prix level, something that takes not only a lot of skill, but a lot of money too. And your characters are already in debt, so probably not the best idea.

And if the ranch is behind in payments in the first place, explain why. Just having the owner “behind” on their bills and about to lose the ranch for no set reason is a lame excuse for a cheap driving plot.

The exception for this is the failing ranch for medical reasons, such as the family having to pay large sums of money for medical treatment for a family member, or losing the ranch because of a natural disaster that would cost too much to rebuild. This is not only more realistic, but also more relatable.

3. Perfect horse/perfect rider– AKA “The Natural”

The horse who is never used to the sights and sounds and smells of battle is completely bombproof.

The horse can run forever. The “newbie” rider is a “natural”.

Hopefully by now you’re seeing the “unrealistic alert” warning signs with this.

Charging headlong into a battle would go against everything a horse knows. You would have to start from getting him used to armor and the sounds of clanking armor and go from there.

Just the sound of the armor could be enough to spook a horse. There have been real life stories of inexperienced horses running into battle, panicking, and accidentally crushing their riders. And riding well enough to stay seated on a galloping horse takes years of work, not six weeks. Sometimes there are people who just get it quickly, but none of them are as fast as the movies make it.

Another note: horses, no matter what the movies say, cannot gallop over hills for hours at a time. Trotting? Yes. Galloping? No. Due to the structure of the circulatory system, if a horse was to gallop like that for hours, their heart would actually explode. It’s happened with racehorses, and those are just one to two mile tracks on flat ground.

Give the horse and kid flaws.  Give them some training! Make them have to work together, or at least have the horse be bombproof to begin with. There’s a reason the French created the steady, gentle Percheron horse for war. They were bred to be bombproof.

4. Abused kid meets abused horse and seemingly heal immediately

While horses are amazing for helping abuse victims recover, no one, not horse or human, recovers from abuse overnight. It’s a beautiful thing to watch a horse help an abuse victim recover– but not overnight, and not without other methods.

While horse therapy certainly helps, abuse victims still need a regular therapist, and read this clearly, no abuse victim heals overnight , not even if they think so.

This is not only unrealistic, it also portrays abuse recovery in a light that doesn’t do the topic justice. Do your research on this. Your story will be so much deeper.

5. Snobby Rich Riders

Yep. You see this in every horse movie. The snobby rich kids who scorn the MC? The ones with the fancy horses that they don’t really care about? Veronica from Saddle Club, Ashley from Heartland …

Are there kids like that in real life? Sure, but they’re not as common as you’d think.

If you choose to use this, make the snobby kid a rider who can barely afford to go to the barn and is jealous of the more-wealthy protagonist. Or maybe the snobby kid is the protagonist.

6. Girl Gets Horse, Horse Isn’t What She Wanted, Girl Hates Horse

This is the incentive plot line of many a horse book. It’s also one of the most ridiculous.

First, you would have to be a completely spoiled brat to not appreciate it when your parents buy you a horse. Second, horses are expensive, and I’m pretty sure even the most clueless of parents would try to make sure they are not getting cheated out of their money by buying a poorly behaved horse.

Third, you don’t go buying horses willy-nilly! I can’t think of any adults who would randomly spend money on the first horse they see without doing some serious consideration.

7. Human gets hurt and/or loses confidence, meets horse, immediately gains confidence through horse

Yes, this does happen in real life.

But it’s a process.

If someone has truly lost their confidence, then it could take weeks, even months to regain. Not even the best of horses could work a miracle. And it’s really not the horse, it’s the connection you build with the horse through trust, which also takes time.

If you choose to use this, research horse bonding techniques, like liberty training or T-Touch. If the event was traumatic enough, it also might be more realistic to have your MC see a therapist as well.

8. Showy but Unrealistic Horsemanship

Horse rears a lot while the rider dramatically pulls back on the reins? Horse foaming and champing at a too tight bit as the character rides with urgency?

Extremely unrealistic.

Here’s the true meaning of a horse rearing: a horse rearing means “I’m scared” and “I don’t know how to get out of this, so I’ll try going up”. Occasionally, stallions will rear while sparring, to show off their strength for a rival.

But horses don’t rear right before they’re about to charge into a dramatic gallop towards the next adventure (a stallion may rear and then charge his rival, but usually there is more warning first. Horses tend to avoid conflict as prey animals).

As for the reins, a real horseman uses his seat and legs to communicate. A horse that’s being yanked around all the time will begin to hate his rider real fast. Just hold the bit of a bridle and have a friend yank on the reins. If it hurts your arms, just imagine what it does to the horse.

Don’t include this trope in your writing. It takes up unnecessary words and creates overdramatized tension.

9. The Forgotten Getaway Car

This is mostly a medieval fantasy trope that is all too commonly overlooked.

The hero rides up to the castle (at that unrealistic gallop we mentioned earlier), jumps off his horse, and dashes into the castle to save the day. Later he steals another horse to escape, most likely with the beautiful maiden he stole away.

Your reader will probably be going “uh, what?” and rush back to figure out what happened to Charger back there.

Don’t forget the horse. It’s not kind to the horse and it leaves a plot hole. This trope is better to leave out, because it gives nothing back to the story and is a cheap suspense filler.

10. Acrobatic Mounting

I was reminded of this when we watched The Princess Bride the other night and Prince Humperdinck inspected the site where Wesley and Inigo were sparring and jumped onto the back of his waiting steed. I verbally winced, because if you did that in real life, you could probably break your horse’s back, or at least put him in a lot of pain.

Not to mention jumping onto a horse’s back with no warning is very similar to the way a cougar attacks him. It’s something heavy clawing at his neck in his most vulnerable blind spot.

I do applaud Alejandro’s horse Tornado in The Mask of Zorro . He was smart enough to know that a man trying to show off and jump onto a horse like his mentor was not worth messing with, and realistically bolted forward. But unless you’re going to have your MC embarrass themself like this, this trope is better to cut out.

So How Do You Write Realistic Horses In Fiction?

Do more research so that you understand horsemanship at least a little bit– this goes such a long way. Books like How to Think Like a Horse by Cherry Hill have improved my equine characters so much.

By taking the time to put your own creative spin on the trope, you’re not just rewriting the same thing over and over again– you’re adding a fresh detail, a new aspect. And you can do this even if your only horse is a knight’s steed.

I repeat: horses are non-verbal thinkers. They see the world through their senses as prey animals, moments in time as pictures. They speak in body language.

The ears tell a lot about a horse– pinned means the horse is annoyed or angry, high and forward means alert, and flopped out to the side means relaxed or the horse could be sick.

A fearful horse doesn’t plant all four hooves on the ground and stays stock-still– he has his muscles tensed, nostrils flaring to take in more oxygen for running, a leg cocked and at the ready.

An angry horse pins his ears, clamps his tail, clacks his teeth and may feign nips as a warning. However as prey animals horses also prefer to avoid conflict or pain– a horse will run before fighting if he has the choice.

A flapping yellow slicker or a piece of paper can be perceived as a threat to them.  While they can be trained to ignore it, it takes time. Just because a horse doesn’t react to the slicker anymore doesn’t mean he won’t react to the opening umbrella.

And if they happen to be hurt at the same time or by the object they fear, then it can take longer to desensitize them and even escalate the problem.

If a horse is whacked across the rump by a falling tree branch at the same time he sees a balloon, then the horse will associate the pain and surprise with the balloon.

What’s the Point?

Writing horses well adds so much to a story.

Equine fiction is a growing and cherished market by many– some of the best writers I know, such as Marguerite Henry and Walter Farley, wrote horse books. It’s also a bit of a picky market– readers know a trope the minute they see it, and it can be easy to lose them.

However, even if your horse is like Snowfire in Eragon , or the dwarves’ ponies in The Hobbit , by implementing these tips you will have added a whole new story layer to the setting and create an equine character who will be remembered.

Article by Allie Lynn

Allie Lynn is a passionate and talented writer who first and foremost desires to honor God with her writing. She has been passionate about “all things horses” from a very young age, which greatly influences her work. Her desire is to produce equine-based fiction that is inspiring and entertaining without compromising her faith. When she is not diving into her fictional world, she is writing articles and short stories for magazines and websites. You can follow Allie Lynn’s work at EquineontheMind.com

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Home » Lifestyle » Horse Careers » Writing about Horses: 10 Tips from a Pro

Writing about Horses: 10 Tips from a Pro

As author of the new book Horse Girl , I’ve spent the last year writing about horses and the people who love them. The novel tells the story of a young rider named Willa who collects Breyers, is obsessed with equines, and desperately misses her mom (an Air Force pilot stationed far away from home). Willa struggles to make friends with the snobby girls at her new stable—until she meets an adorable Clydesdale/Thoroughbred-cross rescue horse named Clyde Lee. 

If you love horses as much as I do, you’ve probably spent a lot of time drawing and dreaming up stories about them! With that in mind, here are my top 10 tips for writing about horses so you can get started telling the story of your favorite horse:

1. Start by jotting down a few sentences introducing your main human and/or horse characters. What are their primary personality traits? Are they confident or nervous? Playful or cranky?

2.Build a world for your story—where does it take place—at a stable, along a trail path or inside a tack room? What other characters might we meet at those locations? 

3. Get specific when you describe your characters and the setting. Include as many sights, sounds, smells and even tastes as you can. Think of those mouth-watering sugar cubes! 

Are there any unusual details or interesting metaphors you could mention? For example, I mention that Clyde’s giant hooves are the size of a medium pizza and compare his white fetlocks to fluffy whipped cream. I also decided that Willa’s older sister should wear cat-eye glasses and sneeze a lot. Those kinds of fun details will help paint a picture in your reader’s mind.

4. Figure out what each of your characters (both horse and human) want most in the world. Maybe they long to win a ribbon at the big show and make new friends—or maybe they just want to get back to their stall to eat more apples! 

5. Then ask yourself: What’s stopping my characters from reaching their goals? Is it self-doubt, inexperience, or a hangry craving for carrots?  

6. Structure your story with a beginning, a middle and an end. Think about the challenges your human and horse characters might have to go through to reach their big goals. How might they change or grow from the beginning of the story to the end? And what lessons might they learn along the way? 

7. Decide on a mood for your story—is it funny, happy, sad, silly?

8. Vary the pace in your story to keep it interesting. Sometimes the action might be galloping along and sometimes it might slow down to a relaxing walk.

9. Research any facts you might need to keep your story real—horse books, magazines, videos and stable visits can be incredibly helpful.

10. Have fun writing about horses! And don’t get discouraged if your story doesn’t come out exactly the way you’d like on the first try. Writing often takes a lot of rewriting. Remember that when it comes to riding or writing—practice makes perfect!  

This article originally appeared in the Spring 2021 issue of Young Rider magazine.  Click here to subscribe!

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How to Write a Fictional Story About Horses

Last Updated: December 25, 2021

wikiHow is a “wiki,” similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. To create this article, 21 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. This article has been viewed 55,917 times.

Horses can make for a very interesting topic for a story. Many people are fascinated with these beautiful and expressive animals and many authors have chosen them as a subject for their works -- "Black Beauty" is a good example. Even for those who know little about these amazing creatures, horse stories are very exciting and fun to write.

• Hudson (horse): Clydesdale, bay, old, smart
• Danielle (girl): 14 years old, blond hair, owner of Hudson
• Start to think about how the different characters may react to each other and what conflicts might emerge. You may also want to draw pictures to help you visualize the story.

• An orphaned foal struggles to survive in the wild.
• A band of wild horses are brought to live on a farm.
• A horse is purchased by a cruel owner.
• An old horse and a young rider must learn to work together.
• A group of people acquire a wild horse and try to tame it.

• A headstrong mare gets loose and runs away.
• The foals like the humans, but worry about losing the respect of the lead stallion.
• The humans try to ride one of the horses for the first time.
• The horses confront the emus over their grain greediness.
• One of the horses is ill and the humans must nurse him back to health.

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• Get creative with naming things in your story. Thanks Helpful 3 Not Helpful 0
• Horses are magnificent creatures. Remember to describe their grace, their sparkling eyes, and their sleek slenderness. Thanks Helpful 4 Not Helpful 0

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How to Come Up with Horse Story Ideas that are Original and High-Concept + 5 Writing Prompts to Get You Started

If you like writing, then you’re probably familiar with this scenario: you’re fired up to write, ready to pour your thoughts into words… and as soon as you open the Google Doc, you find yourself in shock. The cursor blinks, the page is blank, and you’re staring at the stark fact that you have absolutely no idea what to write about. Or maybe you hit a tough spot in your half-finished novel and you don’t know what supposed to happen next. And even if you have a horse story idea, with such a large market, how do you make sure that it’s not like every other horse book on the market?

Writers, don’t fear. Facing a blank mind of no ideas can cause panic, but today’s article will walk you through a three-step process to come up with original and high-concept horse story ideas, so that your book will stand out.

As a note, I would like to say that it’s almost impossible that your story will be completely unique. There’s nothing new under the sun, and at some point in time, even if your story is high-concept and original, someone else has done it. And that’s actually a good thing! That could just mean it’s a relatable storyline, and you want relatable.

What I mean by “original” is something that’s just different, that you put your own spin on. A girl who finds a pony in the yard to be her own? A bit cliche. A girl who finds a miniature horse while walking through Central Park in New York and smuggles it into her apartment? I’d be interested to read that.

With that in mind, let’s go to the first step in how to come up with high-concept and original horse story ideas.

#1 Write Down All the Ideas You Have

I don’t know why, but writers are cursed with being extremely forgetful. Ever had that amazing in the shower, but as soon as you get out it’s gone? Yep. It’s happened to all of us. I even come up with fantastic story ideas in my dreams but I forget them as soon as I wake up.

So write all of the ideas down. Even if they’re random fragments of insanity like “floating goats”. As an ADHD gal, I tend to mentally obsess over an idea as I work to keep my brain firing and so I won’t forget the idea, then write something down as soon as possible. Don’t type them out– write them by hand. The process of writing by hand will cement them more in your mind. Tack them in a place where you can see them often, or keep a tiny notebook on hand. If you can’t see them, you’ll forget them.

What are you supposed to write on this master idea list? Literally anything could work, although you might need an entire notebook for story ideas if you have a sudden burst of creativity. What-if questions (what if a mining story was told from the POV of a mule?), character names, cool plot twists, random concept one-liners (the muddy boots on the back porch hadn’t been touched in a year), and anything you want to write about can be shoved into this notebook. Then, when you’re lacking inspiration, you can whip out your trusty little notebook and page through for some ideas.

This method has helped me come up with plenty of ideas– some that I will probably never use, and some that I hope to use in the future. That’s okay if you don’t use all of them at once. This is a vault, not your spending money. You save up your ideas so you can use them as needed.

#2 Choose What Stands Out To You

Once you’ve completed your list, look over it again. Are there ideas that could fit together? Could that one random character concept for a horse who can fly match with that character concept for a lonely girl with no friends? Could that one song lyric “the sound of silence” matter to the story? And what if the entire setting was St. Louis in the fifties?

Combining a bunch of ideas together can be excellent way to come up with a new story idea, or maybe you just have one concept that stands out. For instance, after we watched an episode of Heartland about a trick rider who stopped riding when her sister died, I was hit with inspiration. What if a horse trainer of mustangs became a hermit after she lost everyone she loved? That was the first idea for Cassie Eldwin, the protagonist of my middle grade contemporary adventure novella, The Wild Side of the Mountain .

From a single concept, you can have a full-blown story idea, or you might need several concepts. This is why I like to keep a piece of paper in front of me while I watch movies or TV. I came up with the concept for The Wild Side of the Mountain from watching a single episode of Heartland . What ideas could you come up with watching your own favorite shows? (Now, I’m not saying you should watch TV all the time to come up with story ideas. Just that they can be useful for story ideas).

#3 Refine and Build onto the Idea

Okay, so you have some vaguely outlined concept in your mind of what you want to write. What now?

Well, if you’re a pantser and you’re fired up enough, you might just go ahead and start working. But if you want to make sure that you won’t be burnt out later, it’s better to do some idea refining before you jump into the story itself.

First, ask yourself some questions about the story idea– is this story idea strong enough to carry a novel? Or would it be better as a short story? What characters do I want to include? What POV would it have?

I know this can seem overwhelming, but it really isn’t. Let’s go back to my earlier example with The Wild Side of the Mountain. When I came up with the idea for The Wild Side of the Mountain , I knew I wanted Cassie to be the main character, but the story also needed a second POV to really carry it. After finding an old idea for a girl who could talk to horses, I included Riley Monroe, a young teenager trying to get back to Denver from Spring Creek who stumbles onto Cassie’s homestead in the wilderness.

Next, I needed to find a conflict. A story needs to have both internal and external conflict to keep the scenes moving, so I tried to figure out what would have the most cause and effect in the plot. It ended up with Riley stumbling onto Cassie’s homestead in the middle of the night. Cassie doesn’t like intruders or interacting with humans (which I made sure to show in a previous chapter), but she’s not cruel. She takes Riley in for the night, with the intention of sending her straight home come morning. But the morning brings a snowstorm, blocking the roads to town. Riley is rude and bitter, and thinks Cassie is strange and ridiculous, and Cassie sees Riley as a conceited brat that she just wants to get off her land. This is called the inciting incident , the call to adventure that kicks off every great story.

So we have conflict and two very interesting characters from our story idea. What do we do next? Could this be enough to keep the story going? Maybe, but I think it needs a little more. What if Cassie and Riley had to work together for the same cause? Enter in the mustang herd that Cassie cares for in honor of her passed sister, who loved the mustangs. The mustang foals are sick and Cassie doesn’t know why, and the stallion won’t let her get close enough to the herd to really examine them. Riley can talk to animals, and with this reveal she convinces Cassie to let her help treat the mustangs. This is the acceptance of the call to adventure, the end of the First Act. (I can’t go into story structure in detail in this article, but if you want to learn more, you can check out K. M. Weiland’s site Helping Writers Become Authors .)

What happens next? Riley and Cassie struggle to figure out what’s wrong with the horses. Repeated snow flurries lead to the roads being blocked, but by the middle of the story, Cassie is too focused on helping the mustangs to care. Since inner conflict is just as important as plot, I made sure to include scenes where Riley and Cassie let their guards down enough to actually get to know each other. Usually this ended badly, but the characters were still beginning to understand each other.

Well, I needed some sort of game changer, some sort of action that would cement the fact to the readers and to Cassie herself that yes, she was becoming attached to this little girl. This is the midpoint , and it comes when Riley runs away and Cassie has to find her before dark, realizing she actually cares if something happens to this girl.

But the problem of treating the mustangs isn’t over after the midpoint. Something had to happen next; the conflict has to build up. So Cassie and Riley make a breakthrough in what the mustang’s disease could be, but before they can do anything about it, the lead mare Evergreen dies, and the stallion warns them that if they come back, he’d kill them. Riley and Cassie now must keep Evergreen’s young foal alive, and Riley finds out that she’s going to be going back to her aunt’s house soon now that the roads are clearing. This is the dark moment of the story, the low point for the characters, and the end of the second act.

The ending of the story is almost here, and I want the characters to tie up all the loose ends. To stuff away her emotions at Riley leaving, Cassie goes out and finds the body of a foal, doing an autopsy for the first time. She knows what’s making the mustang’s sick, but is faced with a dilemma– the closest person with a cure is one of her bitter enemies, and she refuses to talk to him. Riley, furious that Cassie would put her fears and past over the horses, rides out on her own, but the horse spooks and she falls into a gully. When Cassie learns of this, she is forced to go find her enemy for help to save Riley’s life. This is the climax , the intense end of the story.

We can’t just end at the climax though. We have to decide whether we want the characters to succeed, fail, or something in between. In the end, Riley is rescued, and Cassie retrieves the medicine for the horses. While Riley can’t understand animals anymore, she’s found an unusual mentor in Cassie, and through Riley, Cassie has been able to heal from her grief of the past.

And there we have it! An entire story plot! Some pantsers may notice that this is an outline, and yes, it can be this simple. I used to dread outlines because I felt like they sapped my creativity, but they don’t have to! They can actually make it a world easier to write.

How to Apply This to Your Own Writing + Five Writing Prompts to Get You Started

How can you apply this to your own writing? Well, it’s pretty simple. You just need to find the story idea that stands out to you, that screams at you that you have to write this. Create the idea notebook, and look at each story idea. Could you combine some to make them interesting? Is there a character with an interesting backstory you could include?

You can also take elements from old stories you’ve given up on and combine them. Sometimes two melting pots of bad ideas and prose can make a delightful cheese sauce of a brilliant story.

If you’re stuck on what to include in that notebook, here’s five writing prompts that you can start out with. I like to have a picture and a quote with each, because I’m more of a visual person.

A horse of the air and the horse of the land couldn’t possibly fall in love…

CONTEMPORARY

(This is a quote/picture in itself)

There, struggling among the wreckage of the chariots, was a horse.

The legend says he protects those who come into his wood… and kill those who deceive others.

“You say you raced someone? Who was it?”

“I don’t know… I didn’t get a look at his face… but I won.”

How do you all come up with ideas? Is there a horse idea that you would love to write, but you’re stuck on what to do? Let me know in the comments and I’ll see if I can help you.

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This was great!! I loved the ideas and the tips!! I mostly came up with Ideas during random parts of the days, during chores are watching movies etc. I like to see/read things and be like what if it happened this way, are what if that never happened and so on. though right now I am stuck on an idea for a story, I want to write a flash fiction of a Wild Horse and Burro meeting and becoming friends, but I have like no plot are anything for it…

I brainstorm during chores too! Its how I came up with a lot of the plot for my upcoming MG novel Baylee. Hm… well, consider that a lot of burros and mustangs graze together as well, since burros are excellent at smelling out coyotes. Maybe a burro saves the mustang’s life from a coyote?

This is some great advice! Part of what you said I already do, but it was very refreshing and helpful to learn it all in order! (I especially love your routine of keeping a pad while watching movies, I’m planning to start doing that). I also really like what you said about writing ideas on PAPER. There’s something very beneficial to write on paper before writing on the computer. Thanks again!

YES. I actually wrote the entire first drafts of both Broken Wings and The Call of the King on paper.

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Tucked beneath the woollen grey sky, there is a sweet warmth to the horse. He is at home here upon the heathered moor.

The horse at gallop has such explosive energy that it resonates with the happiest version of me.

The horse in gentle pensive mood, upon feeling sunshine and the halter gone, feels the frisson of joy that freedom bestows.

The horse, in equine beauty, brings a galloping of dreams.

The horse speaks of her emotions with every mirco-movement she makes. And as I read her, she reads me, and in this sense of one another our everlasting bond is made.

The soul of the horse is ever at rest in the sanctuary of mother nature.

The re-wilded horses became the greatest art upon the landscape, as if each morning heavens brush created them anew.

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How To Write About Horses with Gillian Bronte Adams

by Stephanie Morrill | Feb 24, 2021 | Guest Posts , The Craft of Writing | 26 comments

Gillian Bronte Adams is the horse-riding, wander-loving epic fantasy author of THE SONGKEEPER CHRONICLES and a YA trilogy coming 2021, rarely found without coffee in hand and rumored to pack books before clothes when she hits the road. Years of working in youth ministry left her with a passion for journeying alongside those who’ve tasted the sting of life’s brokenness. Now, she writes stories that ring with the echoes of eternity and follow outcast characters down broken roads, through epic battles, and courageously onward. At the end of a day of typing, she can be found saddling her wild thing and riding off into the sunset alongside her pup, Took, seeking adventures of her own. Find out more at  gillianbronteadams.com .

Horses are fantastic creatures, aren’t they? Whether seen from a distance or so close you can feel the warm puff of their breath on your outstretched palm, there’s something about them that captures the imagination. Horses have played such an important role in history—in battle, transportation, farming, sports, companionship—that it’s no wonder they often take center stage in our stories too. Shadowfax. Cor. The black stallion.

The stuff of legend, right? Well … only if the author gets the details right.

Most of us could probably name at least one reading pet peeve. It’s that thing that makes you cringe, wince, or slam the book shut. Maybe even “DNF” the book or (like me) set it back on your to-read pile … indefinitely. For me, that pet peeve has to do with horses. Or rather, with authors writing about riding without doing the research to make it feel authentic.

On the flip side, when the tiny details ring true, I will proudly display that book on my shelf, reread it a dozen times, and awkwardly shove it at friends during conversational lulls.

(Me: Read this! Friend: Okay … oh, you mean now ?)

So, how do you keep your horse stories in the second category? Well, for your research today, here’s a list of some of the common horse mistakes writers tend to make and tips to avoid them.

Common Horse Mistakes Writers Make and How to Avoid Them

More machine than animal.

Contrary to what you might see in the movies, horses cannot run all day without stopping, and they need breaks to eat and drink and, yes, sleep. That might seem obvious, but when horses are the main mode of transportation in your story, it can be tempting to treat them like cars. Fuel up and you’re good to go, day after day after day. But while a quick internet search can provide estimates for how far the average horse can travel in a day, some additional factors to bear in mind are the terrain, available forage, weather, health and fitness of the horse, even the load they’re carrying. Rough terrain doesn’t exhaust your car, but your horse will need more rest after a day of picking his way over a mountain than a day of journeying across wide open prairie.

So, show your riders caring for the physical needs of their steeds by brushing them and picking out their hooves at the start or end of the day. Be aware of how the environment and weather will affect horses, both physically and temperamentally. For example, rain makes my horse grumpy while crisp, cool fall weather puts an extra spring in his step. Rough, dry, rocky ground can cause hooves to splinter and crack more easily. Soggy, swampy mud can lead to the development of infections and funguses. Wet weather might cause your tack to chafe and rub in areas it normally wouldn’t, leading to raw, oozing saddle sores on the horse’s withers, spine, or girth. Painful, right?

Then have your characters finish off the evening by feeding their horses a favorite treat (watermelon for my horse) in addition to their meal. Horses do love their food.

Ever seen this scene before? Something (often a snake or a slap on the hindquarters) spooks a horse who rears up and then takes off at a dead run. I think writers like this scenario because it’s an easy way to a) have a rider fall off, or b) have someone else help the rider control their runaway steed. So … it works, right?

Sometimes. Horses are prey animals and do have a strong flight or fight response, but not all horses are frightened by the same things or spook in the same way. Horses are unique, individual creatures, each with their own personalities and fears. My horse can handle snakes but is terrified of butterfly nets. Who knew, right? I didn’t, until I happened to lead a trail ride past a group of campers on a nature walk. He responded by blowing (a deep breath huffed out through the nostrils), backing away, freezing, and quivering until I asked the campers to lower their nets while I dismounted to lead him by hand so his fear wouldn’t spook the rest of the horses in line behind. So, all that to say, yes, horses do spook, but they often spook in different ways than we see in the movies.

Depending on the horse, there’s often far less rearing up and taking off at a gallop, and more backing away (from a threat in front) or lunging away (from a threat behind), blowing, stamping, and once at a “safe distance” standing stock still facing the threat with their ears pricked forward and muscles trembling. How a horse responds depends on his “personality” (high strung or calm and laid back, etc), his level of training (first time under saddle?), the trigger, and his surroundings.

Is he alone or with other horses? Is he somewhere familiar? He might not react so strongly. Somewhere new? More likely. That’s not to say a horse will never rear up and take off running—it does happen—but if he does, it’s often going to be back toward the barn or the herd or wherever he feels safe.

Just a Big Fluffy Dog

The example that immediately comes to mind is Maximus from Tangled . Of course, I love Maximus, but he’s really a dog in horse clothing. It’s clear the filmmakers did it on purpose—think about how Maximus tracks Flynn down by sniffing out his trail and then plays tug of war with Flynn’s boot—which is why it works in my opinion. Break the “rules” but make it clear you know you’re breaking them.

But while horses can be playful, curious, and food oriented, as prey animals and not predators, they have very different instincts than dogs. Dogs are far more likely to jump into protect mode. Horses—particularly in the herd setting—might chase off a predator but are far less likely to get between a rider and danger, especially if they don’t recognize it as a threat. Why does that matter? Well, all you fantasy writers out there penning battle scenes, it’s important to know that your war horse probably won’t come to the defense of their downed rider, unless they’ve been specifically trained to do so in answer to a cue—in which case, they’re not protecting, just responding. Now if your horse is smart enough to read wanted posters (ahem, Maximus), feel free to do what you want!

Shaking the reins

Shaking the reins is not how you make a horse go—at least not in English and Western riding. This was a common misconception among new riders in my horsemanship classes and also crops up frequently in books. If your character is riding in the typical bit and bridle combo, the reins are connected to a small metal bar in the horse’s mouth which transmits pressure to different areas when the rider applies pressure to the reins.

Why does that matter? Well, shaking the reins will not only annoy your horses but could also confuse them. So, show some love to your fictional steeds by writing characters who have “soft hands” on the reins, who don’t shake, yank, or tug them. Gentle pressure should steer a horse from side to side, and skilled riders use their whole bodies to communicate with their steeds through weight placement, gentle hands, leg pressure, and even the direction they’re looking. So, when your character is ready to go, gathering up the reins, sitting up straight, squeezing with their legs, and giving a verbal cue like “clicking” should do the trick.

High-spirited horses don’t need much encouragement to go. Slow, steady, calm (even lazy) horses, might need a little more squeezing and clicking. And remember, even though you just got a mini riding lesson here, your readers care more about the story , so you don’t have to describe the minutiae of every technique, but you can show off your newly acquired expertise in the details you do include. And by not having your riders shake the reins.

Sure, that sounds right …?

If you ever catch yourself saying those words, stop and double-check your terminology and your facts. Using horse lingo is great, so long as you use it correctly (and don’t flood your readers with words they won’t understand). You will probably want to know the difference between mares, stallions, geldings, fillies, colts, and foals, or how to describe the different gaits of a horse. And did you know the parts of a horse have unique names too, like pastern and cannon and fetlock? (Which are probably examples of technical words you should use sparingly.)

Even when you think you already know it, it’s often a good idea to make sure. I remember being mortified as the Equestrian Director at a youth camp when my editor caught my usage of the word “fur” to describe a horse’s coat. Horses have hair not fur, which you’d think I’d know. I also recently stifled a laugh while reading a novel in which the main character emptied out buckets of vomit for his mildly seasick donkey. Donkeys, like horses, are physically nearly incapable of vomiting, which means that the rare case tends to be extremely serious and often fatal.

The good news? There is so much information about horses accessible online, so pausing to run a quick search could save you future embarrassment and make your story feel that much more authentic!

So, to sum up …

Horses are incredible creatures, and with a little research, they can be wonderful assets to our stories! At the end of the day, it’s the little details that make all the difference. The habitual way a trained rider checks the cinch before mounting or scratches at the “sweet spot” on their horse’s neck. The way a horse’s ears swivel toward what he’s focused on, communicate his mood, and twitch in irritation. That’s how I can get away with writing my newest series that has magical horses that breathe fire, melt into shadow, and quake the earth with a stamp of their hooves and it still feels authentic because the tiny, familiar details ground it in reality. But that’s a worldbuilding post for another day …

For now, what are your reading pet peeves? (No names of authors, please!) And if you’re writing about horses, what research have you done to make your horses seem real?

26 Comments

When I’m reading a book, I really hate it when an author uses too many dashed. It’s like reading this: I’m just too tired after my wedding-day-fiasco. The much-too-stale coffee isn’t helping much. It’s really annoying and feels unoriginal, like the author is being lazy instead of using an interesting sentence structure and unique adjective.

This post was really interesting. It’s cool to have someone set the record straight about horse cliches. I didn’t know a lot of the things you said, like about reins. Thanks for teaching me something today!

Thanks for the great post, Gillian! I’ll have to come back to this in a bit once I get back to writing books in which characters are riding and dealing with horses more. (And I have one book in particular where the character’s supposed to be very good with them . . . )

An additional resource for anyone reading who wants to know more on the topic is the Tor.com SFF Equines series: https://www.tor.com/tag/sff-equines/ The author seems to be just as knowledgeable as Gillian is, and I’ve learned a lot from the series.

Ooh, yes, that’s a great additional resource, Sarah. Thanks for sharing the link! I haven’t read any of that author’s books, but I have read several of her articles and they were really good!

Oh, wow! This was so helpful! I don’t use horses in my WIP, but it does make me realize how much I go “Eh, sounds right.” *shakes head in disappointment* My biggest reading pet peeve is a scene like this:

CH1 picked up an apple and winced. Her head was still throbbing from the hits, and the bright red of the fruit certainly wasn’t helping. She let her hand drop to her side and slouched into the chair. “You shouldn’t sit in the dark,” CH2’s amused voice said from the door. “It’s creepy.”

In case you didn’t see it, and I honestly don’t blame you because this was a horrible example, CH1 is sitting in a dark room, and the bright color of the apple is worsening her headache. Only, if she was actually sitting in a dark room, the colors of the apple, and anything else around, would have darkened as well. I don’t see this too often, thank goodness, but it bothers me on SO. MANY. DIFFERENT. LEVELS. Or when, in the romance genre specifically, we have CH1, the lonely, misunderstood female lead who just wants to find love, and we have CH2, the dashing heartbreaker who falls unrealistically hard for CH1 after seeing her across the room for about three seconds. ? *sigh* Thanks for the post! It was really interesting to read.

Oh yes! Not actually having darkness impact your character’s vision is a really easy trap to fall into, but it definitely breaks the reader out of the scene. My editor also caught me on that one once or twice … This is why editors are awesome!

Hi, I left a question in the strong vs. weak plots post, and I was hoping someone would be kind enough to help me out. But no one is posting on that blog now, so I came to this one, although I have no interest in writing a horse story (I’m more of a fantasy/action kind of girl!). I’m just new to GTW, so I’m not really sure what I’m doing. 🙂

Yay, welcome! So glad you found us!

It just takes us a little time to reply sometimes, but we do reply to nearly all comments.

This will be really helpful if I ever need horses in my story! I have a list of several writing pet peeves, but my biggest one is what I call journalistic writing. It’s when the author will write something like “the fourteen-year-old boy” after naming the character, just to give information. It’s the way news reporters write (you know how they always come with a hundred different ways to name someone?), but I hate it in fiction! (The only exception for that I have are the epithets in epic poems.) I also get annoyed when eye color is mentioned as a very noticeable and important thing. I NEVER notice anyone’s eye color unless it’s really pale so I find it rather unrealistic when characters go on about eye color.

Good examples! I don’t tend to notice eye color immediately either. I think it’s one of those easy distinctives that authors tend to fall back on when describing characters, but this is a great reminder to be creative and use even your character descriptions to help us grasp who the character is as a person, not just what they look like!

Lol, that’s so ironic. My little sister was telling me yesterday that she just noticed the day before that her best friend has green eyes.

But at the same time, eye color can be important. Like maybe they have mismatched eyes, or, it’s something that plays an important role in the setting, like all people of a culture naturally have blood red eyes, (or in the case of my story, where the crown royal has to marry someone with green eyes to keep the line of green-eyed royals going.)

This is wonderful! I love horses and like to use them in my WIP’s. I do think I’ve been guilty of the “Shake the reins” one. XD

Oh good! I’m glad it was helpful. Horses are so much fun to write about!

This is so helpful! I’ll definitely be coming back to this next time I’m writing about horses in my novel. Thank you so much! By the way, I am SO excited about your new series coming out! It sounds amazing!!

Oh yay! I’m so happy to hear that. I can’t wait for y’all to get to read the first book this year!

What a lovely post! In one of my story ideas, a horse plays a very large role, so I’ll be sure to come back to this when I start it.

One of my biggest pet peeves in fiction (particularly YA) is when the female MC does something awesome, usually fighting, and everyone stands staring for a moment before she turns, shrugs, and says something like “I had three older brothers,” at which point everyone nods and goes about their daily business. I can fight, and do, and I have no older brothers. The same goes for my best friend. Besides this, my younger brothers would never once think of beating up on their younger sisters, which is presumably how the female MC learned how to fight. It’s like including a male MC doing something traditionally female-coded (though I wouldn’t even say at this point that fighting is male-coded), and everyone being surprised until he says, “I had three older sisters.”

This trope is taken to ridiculous lengths. I just saw an episode of a TV show in which a girl did fantastically in sparring. Her coworker explained it as “she had older brothers”– not that she was an ex-Secret Service agent who was expressly trained in hand-to-hand combat.

There’s the end of my rant… sorry, haha.

Oh, you’re so right! It’s so annoying when everyone’s just “Oh, yes, absolutely, makes total sense, understandable, have a great day.” Although, in my case it would actually make sense because one of my older brothers enjoys wrecking havoc, usually in the form of a lacrosse stick, on my life.

Yesss! Like the only way a girl would know how to do something awesome, usually fight, would be to have older male figures teach it to her? I’m sorry, no XD Every time something like that happens on TV, my brother looks over at me and says, “I just cleaned my room really well,” and I gasp. Then he adds, “I have an older sister, though,” and I nod like it all makes sense now.

Haha, there is always lacrosse sticks. They’re the exception 😉

That’s a great response. XD

This is a great post that I didn’t know I needed! I have a story idea that revolves around horses… well, technically it revolves around kelpies, but the MC has lots of experience with real horses. I won’t be writing that book for a while, but when I finally do get to it, these tips will come in handy. Thanks!

Also, your series with the fire breathing horses already has me intrigued. I’m definitely going to have to read it first chance I get!

Ooh kelpies are so much fun! Good luck with your project. I have quite a few of those “can’t write just yet” project documents that I keep saving links to for research purposes.

And yes, that series will be launching later this year, which is super exciting, so there will be reveals happening in the next few months! Can’t wait for it to be out there! 🙂

One of my biggest pet peeves is when a character gets away with making a mistake or doing something awful. For example, in one book I read a few years ago, a villain hurt and even killed a bunch of people, and at the end, it turned out that the villain had a sad childhood and everyone felt bad for her. That doesn’t necessarily justify killing! In the same book, one of the main characters helped the other one cheat on a test because it was “the right thing to do” and so that the kid would get better grades and feel better about himself. Seriously? Cheating was the right thing to do? It disappointed me.

I’m so glad you pointed out that horses are animals; not machines, and that realistic ones wouldn’t jump in to save the day unless trained to do so. I found that interesting, and I’ll definitely keep that in mind if I write a book with horses involved.

I really like books with horses (my reading level, of course) so I’m excited to try your new books. You don’t find a lot of young adult books with horses–or at least, I haven’t. Do you know when the exact release date is, or will it just be some time in 2021?

P.S.: I’m also very glad that you brought up how dog-like Maximus is. I noticed that too, and I think it was very clever. Sneaky, but clever.

Thanks for the post!

So, the exact release date hasn’t been announced yet, but it’s going to be toward the end of the year. So perfect for Christmas gifts … 😀

Isn’t Maximus adorable? Definitely a favorite of mine, even if he’s more dog than horse. (I mean … who doesn’t like dogs?)

Thanks so much for the article, Gillian! I write fantasy, and I have several horses that have names and show up regularly in the story. It was a good reminder to keep my horses realistic.? If you ever do a follow-up on this article, maybe you could do one on horse noises. One of my pet peeves is when the only noise a fictional horse makes is a whinny. It’s so refreshing when a writer actually knows the difference, and takes time to throw in a nicker, or a slobbery snort.?

I’m not a horse person, though the fictional horses I’ve read about are so fun. (Black Beauty, and Mesrour!)

One of my reading pet peeves is when someone unrealistically describes fainting. Like, the character doesn’t even know they’re fainting, they just drop to the floor. That cracks me up, because I usually know right away when I might faint, before I faint: my ears start ringing, everything starts turning black (like a bunch of sihouette-like figures?) and then I feel like I’m falling into a pit. And what drives me even more crazy, is when they wake up like it’s from a nap, and resume their business with barely any trouble. I just think, “Wrong. Oh so wrong.”

Also, when people pinch themselves because they think they’re dreaming. I actually had a dream once where I kept pinching myself, trying to wake up…. Didn’t work at all.

I’m very guilty of making my characters faint or get knocked out unrealistically. I either have them suddenly drop to the floor like you described, or I make it take way too long *sighs sadly*.

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How to describe a horse from the POV of someone who has never seen one? [closed]

In my story, my narrator has only recently met other humans and the biggest creature she has ever interacted with are dogs. In the survivors' camp, she encounters their horses and is pretty freaked out, but I don't really know how to describe them in the way that someone would if they'd never seen them before. Help?

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• 2 How would you describe a thestral from Harry Potter? The approach you use to describe a thestral is the same approach your character probably uses to describe a horse. –  SFWriter Commented Nov 23, 2018 at 17:10

3 Answers 3

She would focus on both the familiar and the parts that are out of place.

Familiar: * It's an animal (mammal) (4 legs, hairy) * It works in a helper capacity to humans

Bizarre: * Its size! This is probably her first impression. * It can be ridden. If this is part of her first view, it will likely be paired with size for her first reaction. * Long face, neck, mane, and tail unlike any other she's seen. * Those feet! Hooves not paws.

She might at first use words like "beast" and "monster." Some of the familiar vs the new will be simultaneous and in other cases she'll go back and forth while she gets her bearings. Not all new animals elicit this type of reaction, but one that is 10 times the size of any she's ever seen (and/or being ridden) surely will.

You could look at how children perceive animals that they do not yet know. What they do is subsume animals that look alike into the same category. At first every animal is called a "dog" (if a dog is the first animal a child knows). Then different classes of animals are differentiated, as the parents give names to the different species, and eventually the child will learn to recognize a new animal as different from the ones he or she knows and not give it a name that doesn't apply, even though she doesn't yet know the correct one.

So, if your narrator is mentally immature or doesn't much care about animals she might first think the horse is a big kind of dog and call it "dog". If she is of adult intelligence, she might see the similarity but notice the differences (mane, different tail, different teeth, different feet, etc.) and think of it as "a dog-like animal" or, if she is more scientifically inclined, as "the big quadruped". She might even be able to tell the predator from the herbivore, because a similar difference might exist in her home, and she might think of the new animal along these lines, e.g. as "the big herbivore" or, if she encounters the horse in its capacity as a mount, as "the mount".

Much of what she will call the horse will depend on the circumstances of the encounter (being ridden or on a pasture, from afar or suddenly upon her) as well as her personality and what aspect of it she will focus on most (the smell, the neighing, the size, the shape, the color, etc.). So your answer will very much depend on the story and the characterization you have chosen, and you need to derive at least part of your answer from that.

Horses are very much like ramped up dogs; the long face, the legs. They have hooves instead of paws. You have to add on manes and hairy tails. But if somebody has seen large dogs, like a Labrador Retriever or Greyhound, the horse is very similar.

I'd look through breeds of dogs and see which one looks MOST like a horse, and describe it that way. Just imagine that dog five and a half feet tall at the shoulder.

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The Writer’s Guide to Horses

Saddle up… it’s time to write!

They appear in all sorts of genres, from epic fantasy to the zombie post-apocalypse, but horses can be one of the most difficult topics for authors to get right.

This illustrated guide gives writers a leg up on their fictional equines. You’ll find practical tips for crafting authentic equines in your works, avoiding the most common mistakes, and making your four-legged characters gallop right off the page. Included are essential illustrations, real-world inspiration, historical insights, helpful quick reference guides, example passages, and more.

Topics you’ll find inside include:

• How to write about horses in terms that horse enthusiasts and laymen alike can understand.
• How to write your horses as full-fledged characters, equine archetypes, and how the horses in your story can help reveal information about your characters.
• Horses: how do they work? We’ll take a look at anatomy, different types of equines, and how to choose the right types of horses for your heroes. Quick reference guides to color and markings, body language, emotion, and vocalizations will help you nail the little details.
• The basics of riding and driving horses, and the most common mistakes that authors make when they’re depicting a romantic gallop through the countryside. We’ll also take a look at horseback combat and a few of the most common ways for humans to die horribly at the hands of their equine companions.
• Hitting the road with a horse. Where your characters can find lodging, what they’ll need to do to care for their horses, how to handle a water crossing, and whether they’ll need to bring along feed, extra horses, or pack animals. Traveling by wheeled conveyance instead? We’ll cover that too.
• Worldbuilding a horse-powered society. Inventing new breeds of horse unique to your setting, generating ideas for original tack and equipment, creating a culture with horse sports, festivals, laws, and more.
• The common mistakes that appear most often in books, movies, and other media featuring horses.
• And a few horse-centric writing prompts to get you started!

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The Fantasy Writer’s Guide to Horses

I’ve been in love with horses ever since I was a kid. I took riding lessons for years and read way too many books about them, both fictional and non-fictional. When I started writing my first fantasy novel, you had better bet I had horses in it!

But not every writer is a horse person. They always say write what you know, and I knew horses so that was what I wrote. But if you feel confused or lack confidence when writing scenes involving horses, don’t worry! With a little bit of research you can write about horses so well that your readers will think you’ve been living in the saddle your whole life.

Ready to arm yourself with some horse knowledge? Let’s do this.

Physical Description

• Here is a chart of the parts of a horse (the ones you will likely reference most in your writing will be the flank, hoof, hock, withers, and crest).
• Here is a guide to horse colorings , and another to markings .
• Horse genders: mare (female), stallion (male), gelding (neutered male), colt (baby male), filly (baby female).

Care and Needs

• Keeping a horse was expensive, so most peasants didn’t own one. Sometimes peasants would chip in together to buy a horse and share it.
• Horses were usually kept in barns, and sometimes peasants just kept them out in the fields with the sheep, cows, etc.
• Horses were fed hay, oats, and sometimes bran . The amount of food they were given depended on the amount of work they did. They also grazed in pastures in the summer.
• Horses will forage in the woods for food, eating shrubs, foliage, moss, and even bark.
• Most horses wore shoes during medieval times, which were made of iron.
• Horses were groomed with a handful of straw bound together, or a coarse cloth. Metal curry combs were also used. ( Modern metal curry comb for comparison).
• Horses drink 5-10 gallons of water a day. They can only survive 3-6 days without water.
• Horses cannot puke. So if they eat something toxic, they can’t puke it back up.
• Horses live to be 25-30 years old.
• Horses can swim, but some are afraid of water.
• Horses only sleep for 2 hours a day , and only a few minutes at a time. They usually sleep standing up, but sometimes they will lie down. This is because they are prey animals, so they must be ready to take flight at the first hint of danger.
• Horses are sort of like big dogs. They all have their own personalities and quirks. However, they’re less loyal/protective than dogs–if your character is thrown on the battle field, his horse will likely bolt. It’s their fight or flight survival instincts. However, there are stories of horses protecting their owners, though it’s rare. It might depend on the rider’s bond with the horse and whether the horse sees the rider as part of its “herd.”
• Horses are herd animals, which means they’re social and prefer to live in a group. If they are being kept on their own without other horses for company, they will often befriend other animals like donkeys, sheep, goats, cows, etc.
• Horses communicate using snorts , nickers , whinnies , squeals , and neighs . (From softest to loudest). A whinny is similar to a neigh, but a neigh is a little deeper. For more information on why and when horses make certain sounds, click here .
• Horses communicate mostly through body language, and are pretty quiet animals. (Again, prey animal instincts). For more details about horse body language go here (scroll to the bottom).
• Every horse is frightened by different things, whether it’s a predator, an unfamiliar object, a loud noise, an unexpected movement, or water. When a horse is frightened or “spooked”, he might shy away, buck, balk, or bolt.

Riding & Traveling

• Medieval saddles are pretty similar to modern saddles. “War” saddles were a bit “deeper” to offer the rider more security, with the front and back parts rising higher. “Riding” saddles were more slender. However, sometimes war saddles would be used for riding and vice-versa.Click here to learn the parts of the saddle (the ones you would use most in your writing would be the cantle, pommel, seat, and stirrup). Also, this video shows you how to saddle a horse .
• Medieval bridles are also similar to their modern counterparts. To learn the parts of the bridle, click here .
• It was common for women to ride astride in medieval times (one leg on either side of the saddle). Side saddles were rarely used, and only by noble ladies.
• It was common for women to ride horses during travel, and noble women also rode horses during hunts.
• Horses have four different gaits (the term used to refer to a horse’s speed). From slowest to fastest: walk, trot, canter, and gallop .
• At a gallop, a horse can reach a speed of 25-30mph. A horse can gallop for a couple of hours before losing steam. So unless your character is riding Shadowfax, avoid epic days-long gallops.
• The distance a horse can travel in a day depends on the weight and skill of the rider, the age/health of the horse, the weather and terrain, and how much equipment the horse is carrying. A horse could cover 20-40 miles a day and can be pushed beyond this if need be, but will need a day or more to recover afterwards depending on how hard it was pushed. Remember horses aren’t furry motorcycles, they get tired!
• If your character is riding a horse for the first time or for a longer period of time than they’re used to, they will be sore after. This is often called “saddle sore.” Riding a horse looks easy, but you’re not just sitting there! You’re actually using a lot of muscles in your body. Saddle soreness is something better experienced than described. Which brings me to my final point…

I would highly recommend riding a horse at least once for research, whether it’s a trail ride or lesson. There are things you experience in real life that you can’t learn from a book or article.

Pay attention to your senses. What does the horse and stable smell like? What sounds do you hear? How do the horse’s coat and mane feel? How does the horse move beneath you? If you can’t get on a horse, here’s a video of a rider’s eye view from the saddle.

Even if you’ve never been on a horse you can write scenes involving horses well as long as you do a little research 😉

Have more horse questions? Post them below!

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18 thoughts on “ The Fantasy Writer’s Guide to Horses ”

You know, I grew up in a very horse-rich area (lots of agriculture; best friend did rodeo), and yet the amount of things I don’t know about horses is astonishing. I’ve run into so many problems with my newest project because I needed to know little things about horses here and there (like travel speed), so thank you, Kaitlin! This is so super helpful!

Haha I live in Louisville, Kentucky, as in home of the Kentucky Derby so I’m surrounded by horses. I knew a lot about them because I was obsessed as a kid (and I still am in love with them), but when it came to my story there were still things I would get stuck on. I’ve found when you’re writing you always end up needing to know the weirdest, most obscure details that are difficult to research haha.

I’m glad you found it helpful, thanks for stopping by! 😀

Thank you so much for a very informative article. It is very true that when you are writing, there are so many little things that you never thought about until you have to describe it in your writing. You covered basically everything I wanted to know about horses, from parts of a saddle to speed, gait and types of horses. Links to pictures and videos made it easier to see exactly what you meant. Awesome article. Thanks for taking the time to write it.

You’re very welcome, I’m glad you found it useful! 😀

This is an amazing list, Kaitlin! Thanks for putting this together. 😀 My WIP’s heroine also rides a horse; and while I’ve been doing my research as the writing and revising has gone along, it’s great to have one spot where I can find just about everything I need now.

You’re very welcome! ^.^ I’m glad you’ve found it helpful for your research!

Great post! So keeping this for reference! I’ve spent a lot of time around horses growing up, but I found some great tidbits of knowledge in here I didn’t know perfect for the fantasy novel I’m editing–that includes lots of horseback riding lol. Thank you!

storitorigrace.blogspot.com

Yay! Glad it was helpful for you 😀

I love horses and have a lot of book knowledge, but I really was struggling not to “romanticize” horses. I started out with the Protagonist (Cirra, hence my name.) riding a horse that had a lot of human character traits and “only she could tame” which is so unbelievably clichéd…This article and another one really helped me with my current NaNoWriMo (and beyond) WIP. Thank You! – “Cirra”

I know what you mean, I definitely romanticized horses in some of my first stories. Glad the post came in handy for your story!

Another thing frequently overlooked is the nature of stallions. The average nice little riding horse seen on TV or in movies is not a stallion. They will have a tendency toward aggressiveness and caution must be used. And mixing stallions with a bunch of fertile mares – yikes!

Good tips and very nice that you includes links with pix so the readers could see what you meant. I’m from Lexington and worked on farms and the racetrack, as well as just being a horse lover in general, and I didn’t see any mistakes in your suggestions.

Oh yeah! Stallions are crazy! I’ve only ever been around one that was a stud being boarded at the stable where I took lessons. He would go nuts in his stall when there were mares around. No way would I want to ride that! Oh nice I’m from Louisville, so we’re (sort of) neighbors! 😀 haha. I’m glad my article is approved by a horse expert 😉

Thank you for this very helpful article. My husband and I a 100 + pages deep into our first collaborative novel and it was finally time to bring in the horses. I’ve already done a fair amount of research on other aspects of medieval life such as clothing and sword fighting techniques etc and your succinct descriptions about all things medieval horses just made this chapter quite a bit easier to write 😉

Yay I’m so glad you found it helpful! I know way too much about horses, I was obsessed growing up haha. And that sounds like such a fun project, I wish you both the best with your story! 😀

Love this, I write about a 17th century cavalry troop and believe you me I write about real horses 🙂 WIP has our hero taking a mare in season on long walks round the outside of a castle… in certain knowledge that at least one of the defenders is going to have a stallion *inside*. Bored, frustrated, mare in season half a mile away. Dear me, it’s going to get noisy in there….

Hi. Thanks for the great post.

Would you be able to talk anything about two riding a single horse? Is it a movie thing? Is it realistically possible for any length of time? Are there specific variables involved?

Hi Ali! Riding double is possible, but should only be done for a short period of time as it’s not good for the horse’s back. The amount of time will depend on the size of the riders (for example, two small children versus two grown men, or a man and a small woman). The combined weight of the riders will slow the horse, which will effect how fast and far it can travel.

You will also need to consider the saddle–two people can’t fit in the same saddle. Riding double is best done bareback so that the weight of the riders is distributed evenly. Otherwise, one rider will need to sit behind the saddle, and this uneven distribution of weight will make it harder for the horse to keep its balance, especially on rough terrain, so it might stumble.

Here’s a discussion in a Fantasy Writing forum that goes more in-depth if you need to know more: http://www.sffworld.com/forum/threads/horses-riding-double-whats-possible.27134/

Hope that helps, and good luck!

This is a fantastic post! Thanks so much for putting it all together. I used to spend a lot of time around horses and read everything “horse” that came into my hands. Sadly, time and circumstances changed and I never had the many riding lessons I wanted, nor the horse I dreamed of. This brings back memories and will be very useful to get facts straight in my writing.

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• horse book,
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Is no topic dearer to you than the world of horses? Do you devour whatever equestrian literature you can get your hands on? Has it been your dream to write a book yourself, to tell others about the magical relationship between humans and equines? But how? Where will I find the time, you ask. And what about finding a publisher that will take on my project? How should I go about this? Where would I even start? And yet, between all the self-doubt, there remains the desire to share your experiences with others in a meaningful and lasting way. I have summarized a few tips for you to get you started. Everything newly created begins with a vision, a dream, desire. After desire come an iron will and discipline to push through to the end. Do you have it – desire, will, and discipline? Then read on…

Pick a specific topic within the equestrian field

The equestrian world is a vast sea from which to fish out some inspiration. Which riding discipline do you spend most of your time in: dressage, carting, show jumping, reigning, or going for leisurely hacks? It’s not important which you choose, but it is important that you do choose one. Niching is better than a broad approach. This has to do with your target market, but more about that later. You can use any topic as a base from which to develop a good story. Think about your last riding lesson for instance. Was it bad? Was it good? If yes, who or what made it good or bad? Your horse? What is special about your horse? Take his characteristics and dramatize them. Your horse becomes a unicorn; you turn into a princess. Let your fantasies loose about your riding instructor, an eventer you saw tumble over logs and get back up, or about the nasty stable hand at your last yard. If you had a lousy lesson, that is technically even better because potentially richer in conflict. And conflict, as you will see later, is the key to creating a story.

It is easy to find a topic. Publishers often prefer every day events, as the reader can identify more easily with ‘ordinary’ folk. There are a few simple rules to observe to keep you from wandering off course, but hey, if you dislike following rules, that’s okay, too. As we know exceptions confirm the rule and there is no reason, why your own unique approach could not blaze the trail for a new literary direction. Statistically speaking though it may be smarter to apply a few proven writing techniques. Read on.

It is a good idea to use a universal writing formula

Movie blockbusters and fiction bestsellers - almost without exception - have one common characteristic: their story line, their protagonists’ struggles follow a certain ‘recipe’ for writing. Often but not always writers lean on Aristotle’s ‘Hero’s Journey’. Do the same: follow a formula. When you start out you are competing with millions and millions of writers who have one advantage over you: they have already published something. Don’t reinvent the wheel when you first start out. Reserve that for later. Until then, learn the ABCs and the 123s. Do some research and choose a writing pattern which appeals to you.

Thorough research

Nowadays this is of paramount importance. Today’s reader checks and tests everything you put on paper. This one thing you can be as sure of as hearing ‘amen’ in the church service. This applies also to pure fiction and even fantasy and sci-fi. Especially your captivated reader (ie your biggest ally in promoting the book) will examine the accuracy of your localities and statements. Not everything your character says may necessarily be correct (he could be lying or be wrong) but your narrative statements must be solid and sound. If you claim that at the corner of Main and Sixth Street in your book’s town (if you have named a town that really exists) there is a bus stop for bus-line 57 and in reality, there isn’t a bus stop for line 57 but only for 56, don’t be surprised if you get a virtual slap in a subsequent reader review. Too many of those and it will affect your sales figures negatively. Readers today have the internet at their disposal at the click of a mouse. They expect you to use yours.

Show, don’t tell!

A few points on technique:

• Let your characters live out the book instead of narrating their actions and thoughts. You can do this most easily through the use of dialogue. Modern fiction readers demand that 60 to 80 % of the text should be conversational. Another way of showing not telling is to describe the body language of the character as she speaks and let the reader deduce the emotions from that.
• This will also automatically reduce the amount of adjectives you use in your text. If you master the art of show not tell adjectives will become unnecessary. Publishers hate adjectives, they bloat the pages and keep their editors busy. Lose them all if you can. Your text will be crisper; the pace will be faster; your book will be better.
• Show not tell may also help to force you into a more active writing style. Avoid passive voice wherever possible. The second sentence of this paragraph was written in active voice. The third I wrote in passive voice. Got it?

Writing is a craft

Some people seem to absorb their writing talent with their mothers’ milk. The rest of us must and can learn the art of writing. As is the case with every trade, we need theoretical training and practical experience to become masterful at it. Find out what publishers expect from their writers. There are many courses available and you can find some excellent literature about the art of writing on the market. A writing coach will even walk with you from conceptual stage to publication and beyond.

Conflict, conflict, conflict

Have you noticed how the detective in your favorite crime series on TV often has trouble with his boss or a colleague? It is the scriptwriter’s job to build as much conflict into a story as possible. And it is you, the novelist’s job to do likewise. The more conflict, the faster the story appears to move along. Media flooding has decreased our attention spans. A fast pace is especially important if you want to write a gripping drama or thriller. Your chosen genre will influence how fast paced your book has to be.

Don’t mix your genres

A horse book can be a fantasy, a young adults’ or children’s story, or it could be a non-fiction advisor, a motivational self-help book, or an adventure novel. Publishers expect you to choose a genre and stick to it. For instance if you write a thriller, the reader must accompany the victim throughout his ordeal and experience his fear and emotional turmoil. If you write a horse mystery on the other hand, the reader will follow the narrative from the perspective of the detective who is solving the crime. Here the reader will engage with the detective’s struggles and pain. It can be quite tricky for a novice to change perspectives in such a way that the reader can easily follow. It’s easier to pick a simple perspective and stick to it throughout.

Careful with flashbacks and foreshadowing

When first starting out, don’t hesitate to use a simple chronological narrative style. Technically, it is easiest to write in past tense in the third person. The present tense reads faster and can be very exciting, but can be hard to maintain over a 400-page novel. Writing in the first person will make show not tell even more important as you are narrating from one perspective only. However, if this is your preferred personal style, use it! Use whatever you are comfortable with. As long as you stay in show not tell and active voice, and as long as you remember to limit the use of adjectives, there is no reason why it should not work.

Did you notice my grammatical error in the penultimate sentence of the previous paragraph? I broke a grammatical rule there: never split your infinitives. Your book must be correctly written, of course, but as you write: if it feels terrible, it probably is, so use some license. As Winston Churchill said on the topic: ‘This is nonsense up with which I will not put!’

For basic fiction writing, use short sentences, avoid elaborate phrases, and let your characters speak simple, everyday language.

Author programs are helpful, but you don’t need to invest much when you start out. Free grammar and style checks have improved hugely over the years and will give you enough feedback to keep you busy for a while.

Where does your story take place?

This is important and often overlooked. If you are writing about the rodeo circuit, it makes more sense to plant your story into the soil of Texas than in that of the Scottish Highlands. Sure, this is an exaggerated example to drive home a point, but it’s not as obvious as you may think. Publishers think first in commercial terms, second (if at all) in terms of your creative genius. They will plot out a marketing strategy for the target group based on the content of your story. So if you are writing a crime thriller in the world of horse racing, it will be just fine for your protagonists to stay in Kentucky. It is not necessary to move the plot to Dubai. Unless you know a lot about Dubai of course and do so for a reason. From many a publisher’s commercial perspective: the less exotic the better. Having said that… if your story cannot work unless it is set in the deep jungles of a south pacific island, then be bold and follow your heart…

How long should your book be?

The trend is toward shorter rather than longer. Currently a desirable size is between 200 and 400 pages. (One book page consists of approximately 1200 characters.) There are many reasons for this. One is printing is expensive. If a book is longer than 400 pages, binding becomes an additional concern as it makes the project more costly. Should your book be less than 200 pages, the reader may feel cheated. More and more readers are starting to resent the trend of putting out e-books of around 100 pages and ending them virtually in the middle of the action in order to compel the reader to buy the sequel. There are many more honest ways of completing a story AND arousing the reader’s desire for a sequel.

Have you found this article helpful or would you like to connect with me on further topics? I would love to engage with you personally. Please contact me via my writing coaching page www.irie.co.za or +27-11-958-5081 or inspiration at irie.co.za. And please follow me!

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WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®

Helping writers become bestselling authors

Setting Description Entry: Barn

May 30, 2009 by BECCA PUGLISI

Sight Hay, stalls, water trough or bucket, food trough, pens, seed, grain, blue salt lick, curry comb, tools (shovel, pitchfork, broom) feed buckets, flies, spiders, spider webs, dust, rusty nails, pen gates, horse hair pinched in cracked boards/stall rails…

Sounds The rustle of hay, creaking boards, stamping, thumps, whinnies, squeaks, grunts and other animal-specific vocals, huffing breath, snorting, rubbing noises as animals scratch against posts or rails, the clatter of grain spilling into a trough, the scrape of a shovel against the rough floorboards…

straw (clean and dirty), urine, manure, salt, animals, hay (dusty & slightly sweet-smelling), grain (dusty & earthy)

Dust & chaff in the air, spit

Prickly hay and straw, chaff sticking to the neck, getting into your shirt, rough boards, sweat trickling down your face, sides and back, a band of heat where your hat sits, swiping dust and chaff from clothes and hair, pulling on heavy work gloves, the dry & hairy tickle of horse lips nibbling up a treat of apple…

Helpful hints:

–The words you choose can convey atmosphere and mood.

Example 1: Dara woke from her nap, wide-awake with the vague remembrance of an unpleasant dream. Her skin itched from a dozen hay pricks; the strong smell of animal assaulted her nose. As her eyes grew accustomed to the dark, she made out rough wooden stalls with milk pails stacked against the wall. She pushed away a rusty pitchfork and decided to be more careful next time she fell asleep in the barn…

–Similes and metaphors create strong imagery when used sparingly.

Example 1: (Simile) I stepped into Uncle Amos’ barn and the unholy stench of manure and filthy straw almost knocked my boots off. It was like entering a free standing public toilet in the height of summer…one that had gone weeks without being emptied…

Think beyond what a character sees, and provide a sensory feast for readers

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers —a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.

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June 26, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Anon, I’m betting just reading through our descriptors has evoke lots of memory for you to draw on! This is more a brainstorming tool more than anything, to get you thinking about what it feels like to you in the particular setting. 🙂

Happy writing!

June 25, 2011 at 10:40 pm

I was trying to recall the many-years-old memories of a summer working in a barn for a scene I’m working on and found this blog. I am so, so, so happy I did, though it feels like cheating ^^

June 2, 2009 at 12:06 pm

Bish, I know–I have fond memories of barns.

Spam warrior, ugh, I have! It’s terrible. But, I will say sometimes you can lean a bit heavy on the similes and get away with it (not often tho). An exaple would by the Middle Grade, Savvy. The simile usage is a big part of the style and voice, so it works.

Thanks PJ & Danyelle

June 1, 2009 at 2:32 pm

Sorry, all those deliciously allergic things. 😀

May 31, 2009 at 7:53 pm

Yes! A Barn! My WIP needs a barn totally! Thanks as always.

May 31, 2009 at 1:19 pm

I have a book giveaway blog and would l♥ve to talk to you about your books! Please e-mail me at: [email protected]

May 31, 2009 at 5:58 am

Have you ever read something where the writer used similes and metaphors all the time?

May 30, 2009 at 9:58 pm

Barns…a great place to play, endless imaginary possibilities.

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vintage_fairy Member

Help describing a carriage ride.

Discussion in ' Setting Development ' started by vintage_fairy , Jun 4, 2022 .

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_eb347baf420ac9658fa312709bcd909a'); }); I know that it's been a while since I've posted because I've finally gotten around to my story and there have been several changes to it as well, such as the title, which from now on it's going to be called The Celestial Knights: Tales of Agravain and I have finished the prologue about a week ago, and now, I'm currently working on the first chapter and so far, I'm actually proud of what I've written, but right now, I'm stuck on what else to do for the intro of it and here's what I have so far: The clip-clop of horse hooves trotted against the cobblestone streets as wheels thumped on the pavement... That's what I've got so far, but I'm stumped on what else to write. My MC, Kamaria Imani Rosita Igwe De La Cruz is going to school and I'm not sure how to flesh it out even more. The plot's still in the works, so I'll show you guys what I have when I finish the book.  

Seven Crowns Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor Contest Winner 2022

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_eb347baf420ac9658fa312709bcd909a'); }); I'd start with the sounds of the carriage and the horses like you did. (sensory) Then the sounds of the driver. (sensory) Maybe even the smell of the driver and how disheveled he was when the MC & co boarded the carriage. Use that to springboard to the MC's thoughts about the driver and his class. (pulling into memory/imagination, it should not be immediate but looking at the bigger picture) That gives you a chance to build character. Then I'd refocus the MC's attention out the the window at the passing scenery for historical details. Most of the above is setting, so logic says that you come out of that with dialog referencing the plot or something close to that.  

Catriona Grace Mind the thorns Contributor Contest Winner 2022

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_eb347baf420ac9658fa312709bcd909a'); }); My two cents worth: I get sea sick riding in enclosed carriages that are suspended from leather straps. I suppose the straps act like shock absorbers, but the swaying destroys me. Maybe Kamaria has inner ear problems?  

SapereAude Contributor Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_eb347baf420ac9658fa312709bcd909a'); }); Round wheels don't thump on pavement. I'd suggest something akin to "rumbled" for wheels rolling over cobblestones. As Catriona commented, old-time coaches didn't have springs. The coach was suspended on the axles or chassis by leather straps. Leather straps often squeak as they move. There would definitely be a swaying motion to the ride. You could mention a horse snorting. Sights? Village sounds and smells? Wood smoke from morning fires as the people prepare their breakfasts?  

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_eb347baf420ac9658fa312709bcd909a'); }); Catriona Grace said: ↑ My two cents worth: I get seasick riding in enclosed carriages that are suspended from leather straps. I suppose the straps act like shock absorbers, but the swaying destroys me. Maybe Kamaria has inner ear problems? Click to expand...

Terbus Active Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_eb347baf420ac9658fa312709bcd909a'); }); It's going to be loud. Assuming the horses are shod (have shoes on), it's going to be even louder. Personally, I can't think when working on pavement or packed gravel with a fully shod or half-shod horse. The class clip-clop sound is produced only by new shoes, and it doesn't take long (-1 week) for them to become scratch and produce a more grating sound. Anyway, outside of my pet peeve about horses, I agree with a lot of what's already been said. Ridding in a carriage is going to be uncomfortable and bouncing, so I'd say your MC is probably holding on to something and very ready to get where they are going. Smell will be your best, it sets the era and location of a story better than anything. Has one of your MC's fellow passenger been sick? Is someone wearing heavy perfume? Those are just to examples out of many, I hope you the best of your work.  

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Creative Writing for Horse-Lovers: Enjoy Descriptive Writing & Discussing Horses

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